Indiana Jones and the Disappointing Plot

I'm starting out by saying that I didn't dislike the new Indiana Jones movie - in fact, I found the whole thing quite enjoyable. And it's been quite a few years since I've seen the original trilogy, and I know that Indie tends to go after mythical "historical" objects, but the whole crystal skull thing went a few giant leaps too far, in my opinion.

(I don't want to say too much in case I spoil the ending for anyone who wants to see it. And I suggest you do go see it. If not for the plot, then at least for Cate Blanchett and cutie-pie Shia LaBoeuf)

The rest of this post will be written in white, so if you want to see it, you'll have to highlight the text. That way I won't be spoiling anything...

Okay, so I imagine a production meeting between Steven Spielberg (SS) and George Lucas (GL) went something like this:

GL: I don't get it. Why didn't anyone like the Star Wars prequels? They were *so much* better than the originals. I have money now, for one.
SS: I miss doing ET. Why aren't we remaking ET? That movie was awesome.
GL: The fans must have been missing something... something crucial...
SS: I mean, everyone loves aliens, right? Especially aliens that somehow benefit mankind. Who doesn't want to be bettered by aliens?
GL: I got it! Harrison Ford! That's why no one liked Star Wars. No Han Solo!
SS: Han Solo? Is that way? You don't think it had anything to do with Jar Jar, or the horrible writing, or...
GL: NO! They just missed Han. We should totally bring Harrison Ford back for a movie. Like another Indiana Jones movie or something.
SS: Isn't he old now?
GL: Not if we drive a dumptruck full of money to his house. He'd sign on for sure!
SS: But the people who watch the movie aren't dumb. They'll know Indie is *old*
GL: We'll set it in the 1950s... and just so people don't forget it, we'll stick every single 1950s cultural reference we can possibly think of in the movie every 5 seconds, so if the audience even starts to wonder why Indie is old now, something will jump out and scream IT'S THE 1950s! HE'S AGED LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!
SS: Okay...
GL: And since he was in Star Wars, we'll throw in some aliens.
SS: Like ET?
GL: ... sure. Beneficial aliens. I mean, why wouldn't Indie be finding aliens in THE 1950s?
SS: Not very historical... or archaeological. I mean, sure the Holy Grail and the Arc of the Covenant and whatever he was looking for in the second movie probably didn't actually exist, but are people going to believe that South American culture is based off of aliens with crystal heads?
GL: They'll believe anything we tell them, as long as we play the theme music A LOT and have long action scene.
SS: We might as well have Indie looking for Atlantis.
GL: All in good time Steve. All in good time.